Seattle Is Making Me Less Friendly, as Evidenced by Excuses I've Used Recently to Exit Conversations

• This place only has Pepsi.
• My phone only has 2% battery.
• I told my mom I'd call her.
• I told my dad I'd call him.
• I told my friend I'd call her.
• I need coffee before I can continue this conversation.
• I can't even.
• I have to go eat soup.
• I'm late for a thing.