seattle

This place. Perfect date spot, perfect bring your mom who came to town to visit spot, perfect early breakfast spot, perfect eat-alone-trying-to-choke-back-the-tears-of-homesickness spot (kidding) (mostly) (don’t worry guys, I’m FINE, no REALLY, let me just enjoy my cassoulet in peace!)

I have a few go-to restaurants when guests come to visit, and if they want seafood I always always always bring them to Walrus & the Carpenter. The oysters here are not messing around, and when you ask them for bread they literally turn around and cut you off fresh slices from ginormous loaves and give you a heaping dish from a mondo vat of salted butter. I repeat: vat of salted butter. COME ON. Plus they give you matchbooks and postcards here, and I am all about the freebies.

My first time in Seattle was for a mere two days during a job interview. I, true to form, had forgotten my phone in the cupholder of my car in Chicago, so I was in a brand new place, hopelessly lost, and scared out of my mind about what was possibly happening to my life. I somehow wound up in Hot Cakes and I kid you not, as I sat there eating molten chocolate goodness I burst into very public tears, not because I was overwhelmed by my life, but because sweet Lord in heaven, this cake is transcendent. 

What Seattle lacks in deep dish and Mexican food and donuts, it totally makes up for in brunch. The brunch scene in Seattle is kind of unparalleled, which makes sense if you think about the amount of coffee consumed here. Anyway. The Fat Hen is my favorite brunch place, mostly because their baked eggs are fabulous, but also because across the street is Rosellinis, my favorite Seattle bakery, and I can get a kouign amman while I wait.

Gracia is literally the only Seattle Mexican place I actually like (except for the late-night Matador $5 nachos grandes, which are both art and poetry). I bemoan the fact that it isn't exactly authentic, but you can shut me up about this debate in a hot second with the Gracia barbacoa. 

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. All I'm going to tell you about the Wandering Goose is that you're going to walk up, see a long line, and think, no way is whatever they're selling in there worth crowding into such a small space and waiting for 30 minutes. WRONG. It's so worth it. Make sure whatever you get has gravy on it. You're welcome.

When my mom first came to visit me, I told her to brace herself because a large chunk of our time was going to be spent waiting in line on a weekday to get pasta at some James-Beard award winning pasta place I'd heard about that somehow manages to stay open by only serving four dishes for lunch on weekdays. We waited for two hours, I just about lost my mind, and I didn't think it was going to be worth it, but oh man. OH MAN. I know James Beard knows his stuff, but OH MAN! There are many places in this world that are over-hyped, but Il Corvo is not one of them. It's worth taking three hours off work to eat this pasta. Fantastico.

There are two kinds of people in Seattle: those that love Molly Moon's ice cream, and those that stand by Cupcake Royale. All I have to say about this is that anyone who chooses the latter has no taste in dairy and needs to sit down. Molly Moon's is far and away the best and they forever won my heart when they served me Arnold Palmer ice cream this summer. Plus, they've teamed up with Hello Robin and are now serving cookie magic. I'm forever in their debt. 

Yes, a second ice cream choice. I can't believe I'm even writing this one, because on paper it sounds like blasphemy and against everything I stand for to endorse Frankie and Jo's because...because...there is no dairy in this ice cream. It's not even cream. It's PLANTS. Which sounds utterly horrifying but, dangit, this stuff is so good!! They don't even add SUGAR to some of their flavors, which can only mean they're somehow hexing me as I eat it to get me to like it, but I don't even care. The Tahini Chocolate makes me sing.

I've gotta be honest, if two of my favorite Seattle friends didn't live in West Seattle, I prooooobably would never spend any time there. But I'm glad they do live there, because they introduced me to Buddha Ruksa, which means they introduced me to the crispy duck at Buddha Ruksa, and if that isn't worth a trip to West Seattle, I don't know what is (jk Sydney and Ben, you are, you are).

A couple months after I moved to Seattle I was getting my hair done and I forgot that because I basically have a small grizzly bear living on my head it takes about three hours and I hadn't eaten anything and I get really, really desperate when hungry. Tacos Chukis was next door and after my hair was done, I sprinted inside, ordered three Tacos Chukis, and sprinted to my car. I had every intention of waiting the five-minute drive to eat them, but that intention lasted a half a second before I tore into them like a maniac in the front seat. When the dust settled and I looked up, there was a school bus parked outside with about fifteen children staring at me, slack-jawed. If that's not a ringing endorsement of the deliciousness of Tacos Chukis, I don't know what is.

If there was ever a place to try a bunch of dishes you (probably) pronounce with a lot of spices you've (probably) never heard of, it's Mamnoon. You can't go wrong with anything on the menu of this Middle Eastern bistro, and they do brunch like nobody's business.

Let's just say that one time I went to Brimmer & Heeltap when it was a little chilly outside and they brought me a tartan blanket to curl up in as I drank my mimosa and ate my brunch. And let's just say that their brunch menu has something called "Bread" (already a fan) that is a slab, an actual slab, of bread toasted to perfection and slathered with peanut butter FROSTING and homemade jam. You have my heart forever, B&H.

I don't know what it is about Seattle, but there is a shocking lack of decent Indian and Mexican food here. Nirmal's is an outlier, though, and is my go-to spot for Indian. When you go, make sure you ask what the chef's specials are--he is unbelievably creative and will feed you something that combines different Middle Eastern and Asian traditional styles for a fusion you didn't realize you were missing in your life.

I'm not a crier, but there are three things that get me every time: soldiers coming home on commercials, any book or movie about WW2, and a really delicious meal. I've been known to take a bite of something and start blubbering like a fool. This happened to me when I first took a bite of Delancey pizza, and I'm not even a little embarrassed about it.

Ok, I won't lie to you, I was immediately skeptical when I first went to Junebaby because everyone I talked to described it as "Upscale Southern" which, for anyone that's spent time eating their way the South, usually means flavor is inevitably sacrificed for the sake of presentation or Yankee pride. Then I had a bite of the fried catfish and grits. GAME OVER. Pinkie's up, long live Junebaby.

So I'll be the first to admit that I'm not exactly an expert when it comes to sushi. I can tell when I like it, but my palate isn't exactly sophisticated enough to tell you why, or if the fish is fresh, or if I like what they've got going on with the fish eggs (I think I like them? But the idea of them kind of freaks me out? And the color? I don't know?) Plus, I'm kind of weird about sauces, and I've found most sub-par sushi restaurants hide the fact that their fish isn't fresh by drenching it in mayo (BLERG). BUT. I've had a lot of sushi in Seattle, and I can tell that Momiji is out of this world fresh and tasty. I just realized this whole description doesn't exactly sound like a ringing endorsement BUT just trust me. It's the best.

Some people will tell you their love language is quality time or words of affirmation or gift giving...I will tell you that my love language is dim sum. Take me to dim sum, I'm putty in your hands. Dim sum covers a multitude of wrongs. Dim sum bears all things and endures all things. I love dim sum. It almost destroyed me to leave Chicago's Chinatown because that meant I had to leave Ming Hin Cuisine, but I will tell you that Harbor City BBQ has become a really good stand-in. Runners up include Din Tai Fung (but it's not as good as the OG in Hong Kong, I will tell you that, and is overpriced which, while we're on that note, totally flies in the face of the idea that low low prices are supposed to be part of the BEAUTY of dim sum, am I wrong here??) and Regent Bakery & Cafe, but Harbor City is your Seattle dim sum answer, hands down.

Ballard is far and away my favorite place to go with friends and spontaneously wander, and Percy's & Co. is far and away my favorite bar in Ballard. The bartenders are majorly skilled at concocting you something original if you tell them what you like, the atmosphere is beautiful, it's not too noisy, and there's a huge outdoor patio area in the back for hot days in the summer (yes, sometimes it stops raining, don't be weird about it). Afterwards, I typically find myself wandering over to Little Tin (also amazing atmosphere, and they make their own shrubs, whatever that means), Pie Bar, and, if it's late, Matador (because $5 late night nachos grandes and $3 late night margaritas, let's go!).

So, yes, I realize that when you think "drink" you're probably thinking alcohol, but no conversation about Seattle is going to be complete without a rundown of its caffeine scene, aka my epic love, my lifesblood, the substance I want included in my eulogy because everything I am, I owe to coffee. But I digress. Seattle's coffee scene is as intense as it's many dark roasts, but if you're going to start somewhere, skip the Starbucks scene and instead check out Cafe Presse, Analog, Victrola, Elm Coffee Roasters, and Caffe Vita (hint, a lot of them are in Capitol Hill). And when you go, ask every barista where else you should check out, because you could spend an eternity wandering Seattle and sampling its caffeinated wonders. I'm stopping now, I'm getting verklempt.

I found myself working in Germany for a month one September, and found myself in Munich during Oktoberfest. I can't believe I'm even saying these words, but I actually considered not going to Oktoberfest to check it out, because all the frat boy stories I'd heard about it flies completely in the face of anything resembling fun to me. I could probably write a book about how much I loved Oktoberfest, but I'll just tell you that I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT, and when I got back to Seattle I got incredibly excited when I found out that there was a Munich-style bierhall just blocks from my apartment. I love Queen Anne Beerhall so much. German brews and pretzels (including pretzel bread pudding, I'm sorry, I'm yours forever) and mustard aside, there's also human-size jenga, which is very important to me. 

Here's the thing: every city needs a good tiki bar. Don't ask me to explain this, but when the moment strikes and you just really need a fruity drink set on fire and served with an umbrella, you'll thank me for introducing you to Navy Strength. Also, its companion bar No Anchor (decidedly less tropical) is next door, and the duo makes for a good night out.

The first time I went to Cursed Oak was on a highly weird date, weird enough that it almost completely ruined the place for me altogether, but one crucial element of this bar stood out to me enough that it's made me come back for more again and again and again. No, it wasn't the incredibly delicious fries, the prolific use of Aperol (my weakness), the nice bartender who told me to flee when my date went to the bathroom, or the company I was with (God forbid)--it was the fact that they have a drink called the Smoking Gun where they literally use a gun to infuse your whisky with smoke in front of you. There's no date bad enough that can keep me away from smoked whisky. I'll go back to this place forever.

Before I moved to Seattle, I knew that the craft coffehouse game here was strong, but what I didn't know is that the craft brewery game here is equally impressive! It was such a pleasant surprise! It reminded me of home! It reminded me of Grand Rapids! It made me eschew my usual deadpan sarcasm and start exclaiming about it in regular conversation! My suggestion is to start at Chuck's Hop Shop (covered in the shop section of this guide, don't worry, I could never overlook Chuck's) and sample from all the local breweries before zeroing in on what you want to try, but my three faves are Cloudburst, Two Beers, and Fremont Brewing Co. 

I'll just come out and say it: I am a sucker for a speakeasy. I don't want to be the person who's into kitsch, but there's something just so dang fun about pulling a certain book off a shelf to reveal a trick bookcase, or dialing a rotary phone and whispering a password to reveal a hidden elevator. I don't even care about the quality of the drinks awaiting me at the end of the winding dark tunnel (there's always a winding dark tunnel)--make me feel like Nancy Drew and I'll spend the next three months of my life telling everyone I know to frequent your establishment. In Seattle, that speakeasy is Needle & Thread, and thankfully their drinks are actually fantastic (you tell the bartender what you like and he creates something unique just for you). Just note you need reservations in order to (get the clues to) access it.

I love a good neighborhood bar, and my Seattle neighborhood bar is White Horse Trading Co. It's down by Pike Place in Post Alley, but is just enough tucked away that it's not overrun by tourists. I also take some major decorating nods from this place because now that I'm thinking about it, my living room looks very similar to this place (aka retirement home chic) (that sounds totally unappealing) (but is cozy?) (I'm done now).

It’s famous, it’s touristy, it’s insanely crowded—those of us who live in Seattle all love to hate Pike Place (and the people who incorrectly call it PIKE’S Place, gross), but at the end of the day the food here is amazing and if you come to visit me, I’m definitely going to take you just to watch your reaction to the Fish Guys throwing cod at your face. Other highlights include the Gum Wall (weird and gross but good in an Instagram), the Crumpet Shop (yuuum), the OG Starbucks (just to take a picture, don’t bother waiting in line), Pike Place Chowder (skip the line and order ahead on your phone), Daily Dozen Doughnuts (swoon), DeLaurenti Italian Grocery (head straight for the cheese, beg for samples), Michou Deli (sandwiches and zeppole for days), the prettiest and cheapest flowers you’ve ever seen, free samples of Chukar Cherries, and Rachel’s Ginger Beer.

Fun fact about me: I don't believe in whales. I've never seen one in person, and I'm convinced they're a hoax most of the world is trying to get unassuming children to believe, a là Santa or the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny (sorry if I just ruined something for you) (that wasn't my intention) (it's a tough world out there). I also didn't believe in seals for a while, but then I moved to Seattle and apparently seals are a thing that live in the wild and, in particular, live at the Ballard Locks and chatter to the tourists and eat all the salmon. I love those seals a lot, and I love that I live somewhere that has a Great Salmon Migration (which, coincidentally, also doesn't really sound like it should be a thing, but IS), and I love that I can watch both of these things in action at the locks.

I’m love a good farmers market, and I love that I live somewhere that has year-round farmers markets. Do you know how impossible this concept is in other places in the US? If you tried to have a farmers market in January in Chicago, for example, all your produce would be flash frozen within five minutes, along with all your potential buyers, and you’d probably have some kind of lawsuit on your head for coercing people to leave their homes against their better judgment and subject themselves to the elements. Anyway. Seattle has a lot of great farmers markets, and you should check out the Ballard, Fremont, and Queen Anne markets above all else. That is all I have to say about that.

Sometimes a girl doesn't want to drive into the mountains to go hiking. Sometimes she wants to drive five minutes and walk in the beach and on the woods and see a lighthouse and stuff. Sometimes she just wants to go to Discovery Park.

I was sad to leave Chicago for a bajillion reasons, but one of them was the fact that I had a very special bond with the Harold Washington Library and I didn't think I could ever bear to leave it, as it was beautiful and perfect and had gargoyles. And then I moved to Seattle and was greeted by an even MORE beautiful library and I knew I would be ok. Seriously, even if you hate to read, it's worth popping in because the building is so impressive.

If you're wondering where you can take a perfect picture of the Seattle skyline and Mt. Rainier and the Puget Sound and the Olympics all in one frame, I have an answer for you! It's at Kerry Park. Word of warning, though--you're taking your own life into your hands here because of all the PDA. I don't know what it is about scenic views that leave people all *googly* but the thing I do know is that people who come here can't help themselves from making out with whomever is around. Or proposing. I have witnessed TWO proposals here, which is two more than I've ever witnessed anywhere else.

Once upon a time there was a magic soda machine in the middle of town that was always full of vintage sodas and nobody knew who stocked it but it was the best thing ever. And it was actually real and you should go see it for yourself, the end.

So full disclosure, I hate being a tourist even if I’m going somewhere and am, in fact, a tourist. I consider it a win if I travel somewhere and I’m asked for directions, even if I can’t speak the language and the conversation devolves into madness. So I feel a little weird telling you to go and check out what is arguably the most touristy of tourist traps in all Seattle, but did you even go to Seattle if you didn’t stop by the Seattle Center to check out the Space Needle? While you’re here, you may as well tack on the Museum of Pop Culture (MoPop), the Chihuly Gardens (which is apparently pretty famous, despite the fact that I don’t understand how GLASS can be famous), and KEXP for their fabulous coffee and record collection.

If you do one thing when you visit Seattle, it should be actually leaving Seattle to go and take advantage of the beautiful hiking that is readily available less than an hour away. I have a very, very, very long list of hikes you should check out, but highlights that shouldn’t be missed include Rattlesnake Ridge, Mailbox Peak, Dungeness Spit, Summerland (Rainier), Mt. Pilchuck, and Mt. Baker (Enchantments!).

I know, I know. Some of you are clicking through this frantically looking for any reference to Sleepless in Seattle, desperately hoping I will tell you where to go and check out the house boats so you can relive the beautiful moment that was “hello.” No? I’m way off base here? Unsurprising, but you should still go check out Lake Union, ogle the amazing house boats, and rent either a kayak or an electric boat to zip around and take a closer look.

I just can’t truly tell you to go and visit a city without telling you to go and visit its art museum. I have standards to uphold, people. Seattle’s is SAM, and it’s fab.

Gather round, kids, and I’ll tell you a story of a magical place where there are dogs as far as the eye can see, off leashes, in offices, cuddling passersby on every corner. This wonderland is called Seattle, and Green Lake is the place to go if you want to pet them all. Also it’s the place to go if you want to picnic, stand up paddleboard, eat in cafes, go for a nice stroll, watch a regatta, and generally improve your quality of life. 

Anyone who’s watched Grey’s Anatomy will recall that Seattle ferries are a surprisingly recurring trope and I’m here to tell you that Seattle ferries are a surprisingly fun thing to take advantage of. In particular, I love going to visit the islands surrounding the city, my favorites of which include Bainbridge, Vashon, and Whidbey.

I mean, aside from the fact that Lucca sells a hang-in-there-young-mom-at-the-end-of-her-rope card that says “technically, it’s not illegal to call a toddler an a$$hole,” it’s perfect because it’s beautiful, the owner is the kind of person you want to take to brunch, and they rotate their stock frequently. I love this place. Also last time I was there I found a candle that somehow smells like bougie bacon. I’m about it.

Twice Sold Tales and Mercer Street Books are tied as my two favorite used bookstores in Seattle. I go to one of them every weekend. They feel like home.

My obsession level with the Pantry continues to escalate with every cooking class I take here. Perfect for dates, birthdays, or just going by yourself when you’re lonely, starving, and to practice your knife skills (that sounded way more depressing than I meant it to) (I’m fine, I swear).

Pop into Drygoods Design if you want to appreciate the art of all that is crafty, you want to take a sewing class, you want to take an instantly Insta-worthy photo, or you’re waiting to get into The London Plane and need to kill time.

I cannot sing the praises of Ballard Consignment enough. I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve popped in here at least once a week for the past year, and have purchased most of my furniture from here. The pieces are gorgeous, unique, in pristine condition, and cheap. There’s a piano in here that Dave Matthews has played (also apparently he’s a regular here?!?). The staff is friendly and on the lookout for a very particular leather chair I’ve dreamed up in my mind. I want to move in. 

I love Chuck’s. I love that Chuck’s sells Ommegang and Founders and Revolution. I love that Chuck’s has the best chips. I love that Chuck’s has food trucks with chicken biscuits out back. I love that there are dogs allowed at Chuck’s and that one of them that is always there when I go is a Bernese Mountain Dog named Eric. I’m ABOUT THIS PLACE.

Ok listen. The sales at the REI Flagship Store are phenom (even when it’s not the Garage Sale!!), the climbing wall is bigger than most, and they give free lectures that are so worth going to (last week I went to one about how to get camping licenses on the cheap to explore Bhutan. Come on.). And there’s a FOREST out front. A literal forest.

You walk into the Palm Room and feel like you’ve stepped into a rainforest, that maybe you don’t have a black thumb after all, and extremely welcomed by a fluffy white dog who wants to be your best friend. Need I say more?

It’s a bookstore. That only sells cook books. And the staff knows everything about every cuisine and there are book signings with famous chefs and we can literally talk for thirty minutes about the absolute art that is writing a recipe intro. WORDS FALL SHORT OF EXPRESSING MY APPRECIATION FOR THE BOOK LARDER. 

What’s the best place to find white elephant gifts, 90's nostalgia, vintage clothing, quirky t-shirts, and Aaron Carter memorabilia in all of Seattle? Oh, I’m glad you asked, it’s Fremont Vintage Mall.

Sometimes, when you live in Seattle, you work for a major corporation that’s taking over the world and shuffing way too much responsibility on your shoulders and giving you Anxiety Prime with two-day shipping and your primary mode of stress relief is retail therapy in the manner of dropping two hundred dollars on the most beautiful and soft cashmere sweater you’ve ever had the privilege of seeing in real life. Which is my long way of saying that Les Amis is the best place to really stabilize you after a hard day at work.

Theo Chocolate is Seattle’s confectionary claim to fame and gives you tours and samples. Heaven.

Listen, I’m all about nostalgia, and the fact that a video store is still in business, is two stories, and has the kind of amazing staff that Scarecrow Video employs just makes my heart SING.

So, I’m not going to lie. I’m way biased to the Palladian. Not only is it gorgeous, but the bar and restaurant on the first floor are delish and hold some very special memories for me (and, quite honestly, resemble my living room and make me feel like I have real good taste in decor). 

Hotel Andra is a great option if you want something a little cheaper, but don’t want to sacrifice location. 

The Thompson is a fabulously swank hotel with an amazing rooftop bar called the Nest (worth going to even if you don’t stay here!)

The Gaslight is a B&B in Capitol Hill (fun neighborhood, fabulous food) that can offer you (usually) lower rates than some of the hotels without skimping on comfort or location.

The Ace Hotel offers you a downtown location moments away from Pike Place and bare bones options for low-cost accommodations. But you will have to share a bathroom, so be warned if that bugs you.