Ballard Locks

Fun fact about me: I don't believe in whales. I've never seen one in person, and I'm convinced they're a hoax most of the world is trying to get unassuming children to believe, a là Santa or the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny (sorry if I just ruined something for you) (that wasn't my intention) (it's a tough world out there). I also didn't believe in seals for a while, but then I moved to Seattle and apparently seals are a thing that live in the wild and, in particular, live at the Ballard Locks and chatter to the tourists and eat all the salmon. I love those seals a lot, and I love that I live somewhere that has a Great Salmon Migration (which, coincidentally, also doesn't really sound like it should be a thing, but IS), and I love that I can watch both of these things in action at the locks.

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Coffee

So, yes, I realize that when you think "drink" you're probably thinking alcohol, but no conversation about Seattle is going to be complete without a rundown of its caffeine scene, aka my epic love, my lifesblood, the substance I want included in my eulogy because everything I am, I owe to coffee. But I digress. Seattle's coffee scene is as intense as it's many dark roasts, but if you're going to start somewhere, skip the Starbucks scene and instead check out Cafe Presse, Analog, Victrola, Elm Coffee Roasters, and Caffe Vita (hint, a lot of them are in Capitol Hill). And when you go, ask every barista where else you should check out, because you could spend an eternity wandering Seattle and sampling its caffeinated wonders. I'm stopping now, I'm getting verklempt.

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Farmers Markets

I’m love a good farmers market, and I love that I live somewhere that has year-round farmers markets. Do you know how impossible this concept is in other places in the US? If you tried to have a farmers market in January in Chicago, for example, all your produce would be flash frozen within five minutes, along with all your potential buyers, and you’d probably have some kind of lawsuit on your head for coercing people to leave their homes against their better judgment and subject themselves to the elements. Anyway. Seattle has a lot of great farmers markets, and you should check out the Ballard, Fremont, and Queen Anne markets above all else. That is all I have to say about that.

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Queen Anne Beerhall

I found myself working in Germany for a month one September, and found myself in Munich during Oktoberfest. I can't believe I'm even saying these words, but I actually considered not going to Oktoberfest to check it out, because all the frat boy stories I'd heard about it flies completely in the face of anything resembling fun to me. I could probably write a book about how much I loved Oktoberfest, but I'll just tell you that I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT, and when I got back to Seattle I got incredibly excited when I found out that there was a Munich-style bierhall just blocks from my apartment. I love Queen Anne Beerhall so much. German brews and pretzels (including pretzel bread pudding, I'm sorry, I'm yours forever) and mustard aside, there's also human-size jenga, which is very important to me. 

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Seattle Public Library

I was sad to leave Chicago for a bajillion reasons, but one of them was the fact that I had a very special bond with the Harold Washington Library and I didn't think I could ever bear to leave it, as it was beautiful and perfect and had gargoyles. And then I moved to Seattle and was greeted by an even MORE beautiful library and I knew I would be ok. Seriously, even if you hate to read, it's worth popping in because the building is so impressive.

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Kerry Park

If you're wondering where you can take a perfect picture of the Seattle skyline and Mt. Rainier and the Puget Sound and the Olympics all in one frame, I have an answer for you! It's at Kerry Park. Word of warning, though--you're taking your own life into your hands here because of all the PDA. I don't know what it is about scenic views that leave people all *googly* but the thing I do know is that people who come here can't help themselves from making out with whomever is around. Or proposing. I have witnessed TWO proposals here, which is two more than I've ever witnessed anywhere else.

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Cursed Oak

The first time I went to Cursed Oak was on a highly weird date, weird enough that it almost completely ruined the place for me altogether, but one crucial element of this bar stood out to me enough that it's made me come back for more again and again and again. No, it wasn't the incredibly delicious fries, the prolific use of Aperol (my weakness), the nice bartender who told me to flee when my date went to the bathroom, or the company I was with (God forbid)--it was the fact that they have a drink called the Smoking Gun where they literally use a gun to infuse your whisky with smoke in front of you. There's no date bad enough that can keep me away from smoked whisky. I'll go back to this place forever.

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Craft Beer

Before I moved to Seattle, I knew that the craft coffehouse game here was strong, but what I didn't know is that the craft brewery game here is equally impressive! It was such a pleasant surprise! It reminded me of home! It reminded me of Grand Rapids! It made me eschew my usual deadpan sarcasm and start exclaiming about it in regular conversation! My suggestion is to start at Chuck's Hop Shop (covered in the shop section of this guide, don't worry, I could never overlook Chuck's) and sample from all the local breweries before zeroing in on what you want to try, but my three faves are Cloudburst, Two Beers, and Fremont Brewing Co

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Seattle Center

So full disclosure, I hate being a tourist even if I’m going somewhere and am, in fact, a tourist. I consider it a win if I travel somewhere and I’m asked for directions, even if I can’t speak the language and the conversation devolves into madness. So I feel a little weird telling you to go and check out what is arguably the most touristy of tourist traps in all Seattle, but did you even go to Seattle if you didn’t stop by the Seattle Center to check out the Space Needle? While you’re here, you may as well tack on the Museum of Pop Culture (MoPop), the Chihuly Gardens (which is apparently pretty famous, despite the fact that I don’t understand how GLASS can be famous), and KEXP for their fabulous coffee and record collection.

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Needle & Thread

I'll just come out and say it: I am a sucker for a speakeasy. I don't want to be the person who's into kitsch, but there's something just so dang fun about pulling a certain book off a shelf to reveal a trick bookcase, or dialing a rotary phone and whispering a password to reveal a hidden elevator. I don't even care about the quality of the drinks awaiting me at the end of the winding dark tunnel (there's always a winding dark tunnel)--make me feel like Nancy Drew and I'll spend the next three months of my life telling everyone I know to frequent your establishment. In Seattle, that speakeasy is Needle & Thread, and thankfully their drinks are actually fantastic (you tell the bartender what you like and he creates something unique just for you). Just note you need reservations in order to (get the clues to) access it.

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Mountains!

If you do one thing when you visit Seattle, it should be actually leaving Seattle to go and take advantage of the beautiful hiking that is readily available less than an hour away. I have a very, very, very long list of hikes you should check out, but highlights that shouldn’t be missed include Rattlesnake Ridge, Mailbox Peak, Dungeness Spit, Summerland (Rainier), Mt. Pilchuck, and Mt. Baker (Enchantments!).

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White Horse Trading Co.

I love a good neighborhood bar, and my Seattle neighborhood bar is White Horse Trading Co. It's down by Pike Place in Post Alley, but is just enough tucked away that it's not overrun by tourists. I also take some major decorating nods from this place because now that I'm thinking about it, my living room looks very similar to this place (aka retirement home chic) (that sounds totally unappealing) (but is cozy?) (I'm done now).

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Lake Union

I know, I know. Some of you are clicking through this frantically looking for any reference to Sleepless in Seattle, desperately hoping I will tell you where to go and check out the house boats so you can relive the beautiful moment that was hello.” No? I’m way off base here? Unsurprising, but you should still go check out Lake Union, ogle the amazing house boats, and rent either a kayak or an electric boat to zip around and take a closer look.

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Green Lake

Gather round, kids, and I’ll tell you a story of a magical place where there are dogs as far as the eye can see, off leashes, in offices, cuddling passersby on every corner. This wonderland is called Seattle, and Green Lake is the place to go if you want to pet them all. Also it’s the place to go if you want to picnic, stand up paddleboard, eat in cafes, go for a nice stroll, watch a regatta, and generally improve your quality of life. 

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Le Pichet

This place. Perfect date spot, perfect bring your mom who came to town to visit spot, perfect early breakfast spot, perfect eat-alone-trying-to-choke-back-the-tears-of-homesickness spot (kidding) (mostly) (don’t worry guys, I’m FINE, no REALLY, let me just enjoy my cassoulet in peace!)

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