Existential Questions for Millenials

  • Am I in control of my own decisions and ultimately my destiny if I told myself seven episodes ago that I would turn off Parks & Rec but am still going strong at 4:30am?
  • If there are no facts, only interpretations of the truth, then can we all agree that I deserve a Bernese Mountain Dog even if there’s a general consensus that I’m unable to take care of it?
  • Is hope the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of men who have connected with me on Bumble but that I’m never going to contact under any circumstances?
  • If we all are born and die alone in the universe, then what happens to my Instagram followers after I’m gone?
  • Is it possible to truly be content without some decent content generation?
  • Can life be measured by the number of plans I’ve made but bailed on last minute?
  • Does the regurgitation of clickbait definitively prove the limits of human creativity?
  • If worldly desire is futile, then why are these lululemon yoga pants literally goals and everything I need right now?
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